As society evolves, so do its norms and expectations, including what is considered polite behavior. What was once deemed courteous or proper may now be viewed differently in modern times.
Reflecting on the past can show how social etiquette has shifted over the years. Here are 20 gestures that were once considered polite but are not as widely accepted today.
Holding Doors Open for Women
While once seen as chivalrous, this gesture now risks being perceived as patronizing or reinforcing gender stereotypes. Today, holding doors open for anyone, regardless of gender, is appreciated as a general act of courtesy.
Standing Up When Someone Enters the Room
In the past, it was customary to stand up as a sign of respect when someone entered a room. However, in today’s more relaxed social climate, this practice is considered outdated and unnecessary in most situations.
Offering Your Seat to Others on Public Transportation
While still considered polite in some cultures or situations, offering your seat on public transportation based solely on age or gender can be considered presumptuous or offensive. Instead, it’s best to offer your seat to those needing it, such as pregnant women or individuals with disabilities.
Addressing Elders with Formal Titles
Using titles like “Mr.” or “Mrs.” when addressing elders was once a sign of respect. However, in today’s society, many people prefer to be addressed by their first names, regardless of age, to promote a sense of equality and informality.
Sending Handwritten Thank-You Notes
While handwritten notes were once a staple of polite communication, the rise of digital communication has made them less common. Today, a thoughtful email or text message is often considered just as sincere and appreciated.
Waiting for Others to Begin Eating Before Starting Your Meal
In the past, it was customary to wait until everyone at the table had been served before beginning to eat. Today, diners are more likely to start eating as soon as their food is served, especially in casual dining settings.
Offering Unsolicited Advice
While well-intentioned, offering unsolicited advice can now be considered intrusive or condescending. It’s important to respect others’ autonomy and only offer advice when it’s requested or clearly welcomed.
Making Small Talk About Personal Matters
In the past, engaging in small talk about personal matters such as family, health, or finances was common. However, in today’s more private and fast-paced society, such topics are often considered off-limits in casual conversation.
Making Phone Calls Without Prior Notice
With the prevalence of text messaging and social media, making impromptu phone calls without prior notice can catch people off guard or disrupt their schedules. It’s now considered more polite to send a text or message first to see if it’s a convenient time to talk.
RSVPing with Regrets Only
Previously, it was acceptable to RSVP to an event only if you couldn’t attend. However, this practice is now considered inconsiderate and can create unnecessary uncertainty for event hosts. It’s best to RSVP either way to confirm your attendance or absence.
Correcting Others’ Grammar or Pronunciation
While once seen as helpful, correcting others’ grammar or pronunciation can now come across as pedantic or rude. It’s generally more polite to focus on the content of the conversation rather than minor linguistic errors.
Asking About Salary or Financial Matters
Discussing salary or financial matters was once considered taboo in polite conversation. However, attitudes toward discussing money have become more open in recent years, especially in professional settings where salary transparency is encouraged.
Offering Unsolicited Criticism
While constructive criticism can be valuable, offering unsolicited criticism without being asked for feedback can be seen as intrusive or hurtful. It’s important to consider whether your criticism is welcome and to deliver it tactfully and respectfully.
Bringing Food or Drinks to a Party Without Asking
While bringing a dish or bottle to a party was once considered polite, it’s now considered courteous to ask the host if they would like you to contribute something specific. This ensures that your contribution aligns with the host’s plans and preferences.
Making Jokes About Sensitive Topics
Humor that relies on stereotypes, discrimination, or other sensitive topics was once more widely accepted. However, in today’s more inclusive and socially aware culture, such jokes are often considered offensive or inappropriate.
Commenting on Someone’s Appearance
While compliments on appearance were once seen as polite, they can now be perceived as objectifying or intrusive. It’s best to focus on complimenting someone’s character, achievements, or actions rather than their physical appearance.
Asking Personal Questions During Job Interviews
In the past, job interviews often included questions about personal matters such as marital status, family plans, or religious beliefs. Today, such questions are considered discriminatory and inappropriate, and interviewers are advised to focus on job-related criteria.
Using Titles Based on Gender or Marital Status
Addressing individuals by titles such as “Miss” or “Mrs.” based on their gender or marital status was once common practice. However, using gender-neutral titles like “Ms.” or simply addressing individuals by name is now considered more respectful and inclusive.
Interrupting Conversations
While interruptions were once more tolerated in conversations, they are now seen as rude and disrespectful. Listening actively and waiting for appropriate pauses is important before contributing to the conversation.
Not Saying “Please” and “Thank You”
Using polite phrases like “please” and “thank you” was once seen as basic manners. However, these phrases are sometimes overlooked in today’s fast-paced and informal culture. It’s important to remember to express gratitude and politeness in everyday interactions.
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Victoria Cornell helps women adopt a positive mindset even when the struggles of motherhood feel overwhelming. Victoria writes for multiple media outlets where she writes about, saving money, retirement, ways to reduce stress with mindset, manifesting, goal planning, productivity, and more.
