Maintaining a healthy relationship requires careful communication. Some phrases can cause unnecessary tension and hurt.
Here are 15 things you should avoid saying to your partner if you want to keep your relationship strong.
“You Always/You Never”
Using absolutes like “always” and “never” can make your partner feel unfairly criticized. These statements are rarely accurate and can lead to defensiveness. Instead, focus on specific actions and how they affect you.
“Why Are You So…”
Starting a sentence with “Why are you so…” often comes off as judgmental. Whether it is about being emotional or lazy, it sounds like an attack on their character. Opt for more constructive language to discuss behaviors.
“I Wish You Were More Like…”
Comparing your partner to someone else is a quick way to make them feel inadequate. It implies that they are not good enough as they are. Celebrate their unique qualities instead of wishing they were different.
“Calm Down”
Telling someone to “calm down” often has the opposite effect. It dismisses their feelings and can escalate the situation. Acknowledge their emotions and offer support instead.
“I Told You So”
Saying “I told you so” can feel patronizing and hurtful. It focuses on being right rather than being supportive. Discussing what can be learned from a situation is more productive.
“If You Loved Me, You Would…”
Using love as a bargaining chip is manipulative and unfair. It places conditional demands on your partner’s affection. Communicate your needs directly without questioning their love.
“We Need to Talk”
While important conversations are necessary, this phrase often triggers anxiety. It suggests impending conflict without any context. Be more specific about what you want to discuss to ease tension.
“It Is Fine”
Saying “It is fine” when it is not can lead to misunderstandings and unresolved issues. It prevents honest communication about what is really bothering you. Be clear and open about your feelings.
“You Are Overreacting”
Dismissing your partner’s feelings as an overreaction is invalidating. Everyone experiences emotions differently, and their feelings are valid. Show empathy and try to understand their perspective.
“I Am Done”
Threatening to end the relationship during an argument can cause significant damage. It creates insecurity and fears about the future of your partnership. Focus on resolving conflicts rather than making threats.
“You Are Just Like Your [Parent/Sibling]”
Comparing your partner to a family member in a negative way can feel deeply personal. It may bring up unresolved family issues and resentment. Address the specific behavior without drawing comparisons.
“I Wish I Never Met You”
This phrase is extremely hurtful and can have lasting impacts. It suggests that your entire relationship is a mistake. Avoid saying things that cannot be taken back even in heated moments.
“You Are So Annoying”
Calling your partner annoying can damage their self-esteem. It is important to address specific behaviors rather than labeling them negatively. Use “I” statements to express how their actions affect you.
“I Do Not Care”
Expressing indifference towards your partner’s feelings or opinions can be very hurtful. It suggests that their thoughts and emotions are not important to you. Show that you care by actively listening and engaging.
“You Never Listen”
Accusing your partner of never listening can shut down communication. It is better to explain your feelings when you do not feel heard. Encourage a dialogue where both parties can express themselves.
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Victoria Cornell helps women adopt a positive mindset even when the struggles of motherhood feel overwhelming. Victoria writes for multiple media outlets where she writes about, saving money, retirement, ways to reduce stress with mindset, manifesting, goal planning, productivity, and more.
